Getting Real - This Is What We Do

This weekend, our church is releasing a major motion picture - The Resurrection of Gavin Stone.  The movie takes a look at a young man who comes into the church because he is forced to serve community service hours.  And, it follows him as he begins to connect with the church members.  I haven't seen it yet, but I'm told it highlights some of the things that are a little strange to newcomers that are part of tradition and comfort for church goers.  I'm looking forward to seeing it! In the weeks leading up to the release this Friday, Pastor James has been teaching a series called "This Is What We Do". (You can find more information and resources from this series at http://thisiswhatwedo.church.) 
The main sermon topics have been:

Welcome Without Judgment
Love Without Condition
Forgive Without Limits

And, this week, This is What We Do Encore. There was a particular section of this week's message (all of these can be found here) that really struck close to home and also challenged me. About 12 minutes into the sermon this week, Pastor James talked about Common Christian Judgments.

Here are the five he highlighted:

Pastime Judgments
Publicized Failures
Personal Appearance
Parenting Pattern
Pet Peeve

I've sometimes caught myself judging someone in each of those areas, but I try to be quick to remind myself that I'm not walking in their shoes. Just because I may have a certain conviction doesn't mean the Lord has convicted them. And, to be painfully transparent, my husband and I have been victims of a couple of these. We don't talk about it unless it serves a purpose for ministry, but he was divorced. So, when Pastor James was talking about "Publicized Failures", and particularly about how the Christian community treated Amy Grant, it struck a nerve for me.

You can watch his statement in the video, but this is some of what he said:

"We become the Pharisee as we forget we are the sinful woman"

"We are famous for keeping a record of wrongs...of people we have believed have sinned publicly". 

"It's interesting because Christians ... say ... 'You know, she was divorced, right?' What? You're exhausting. What is it like to keep an entire record of personal superiority and self-congratulation on everyone who has not struggled in the ways...or maybe you feel like you haven't struggled.."

"How many decades is it going to take you before you get to the place where you realize we all fall in many ways"?

We've certainly felt that sting, and, we have both been believers and followers of Christ since childhood. It hurts us when we hear sweeping judgments of others who have walked this path, or even when we are made to feel "other" because of it ourselves. When the judgments come from other Christians, it's so much harder to bear. It doesn't seem to matter (or maybe they don't even know) that my husband walked through that journey with the utmost integrity, character and commitment to his vow, or that it was the Lord who released him from that obligation. Still, he bears the weight of the judgment of others because of it.

Imagine what it must feel like for someone who has never been to the foot of the Cross. Imagine the fear that must cover someone who comes, broken, to what should be the safest place in the world. If we, as fellow believers, so often fail to find grace and safety, how does it feel for those on the "outside"?

For me, the place I have found the most judgment (especially within Christian circles and well-meaning people) has been in the place of Personal Appearance. Again, it's not something we talk about often, but I have a medical condition that makes it very difficult for me to control my weight. I've walked through so many season of fluctuation in this journey. It's exhausting. It's frustrating. And, I'm working with doctors to get my body into balance so that it is not a life-long issue. There are seasons where I win the battle and wrangle my hormones into line, and there are seasons where I lose. All of it comes at a price.

And yet, I have been judged by people because they think I'm gluttonous or lazy. They think it's their place to tell me how my weight affects my life (as if I don't already know better than they do). I've been insulted and injured by "well-meaning Christians" for as long as I can remember. And, I've known Jesus since I was 5 years old. I've loved and been part of my local church (wherever I've lived) for my whole life.

Imagine what a newcomer, who might be a little self-conscious already, would feel at such a judgment. How would they view our Savior?

For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God Romans 3:23

Judge not, lest ye be judged...James 3:2

Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers,[k] until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” Matthew 18:21-35

And now for the conviction part: I have to remember how this feels. I have to remember that judgment is painful and not what the Lord expects from me. It's important to Welcome Without Judgment, Love Without Condition, and Forgive Without Limits. I would want the same for myself.

I wish I didn't walk around with these scars, especially the ones delivered by fellow believers. But, I have the power to choose not to wound others. I have the power to choose grace, forgiveness and love. Instead of judging, it's my job to walk beside someone who is hurting - to encourage and love them,  If I've learned anything about human nature, we judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else could - we don't need more of that.  What we need is love.  What we need is understanding and grace.  And, we need to find these things in a safe place where we can heal and be made whole by the Savior who makes us clean.

This is what we do.

And, if it's not, let's make the change - today - so that statement can be true. May we love each other well. May the church be the safest place on the planet for those who are broken and wounded.

This is what we do.