I have wrestled with whether or not to add my voice to the cacophony of noise surrounding the book "Fifty Shades of Grey". I haven't read it, nor will I likely read it. But, there's a certain point of contention and conversation that won't release me. So, perhaps, in my currently anonymous place, I can sort through the thoughts that are swimming haphazardly through my mind.
First, I think it's important that you know I am a Christian. I don't think this book has anything to do with Christianity or whether a person is going to Heaven or Hell, but the particular node of conversation I'd like to address comes to me specifically because I claim that title.
Now that I've put that out there, I'm sure you have an idea of where you think this blog is going to go. In all honesty, I'm not sure I would know anything at all about "Fifty Shades of Grey" if it weren't for my Christian counterparts telling me how damaging to my faith/purity/morals/marriage/mind/(insert your favorite argument here) this book will be. And, I believe alot of those arguments have teeth and should be considered. I think the Bible is clear on what we should and shouldn't focus our minds on and what should pervade our thoughts. (Philippians 4:8).
But, this blog isn't going to be about the moral perils of reading "mommy porn" (as some have called it). Plenty of others are beating that drum. And, I should also be honest with you and let you know that I have chosen not to read the book, myself, based on what I choose to allow into my mind. I believe that what we read/watch/listen to affects how we develop as a person, how we relate to others, and how we see the world. So, I choose carefully what I put into my mind. I stumbled upon "Fifty Shades of Grey" when looking for a gift for a friend, read the synopsis, and decided it wasn't a book I'd like to give my stamp of approval.
And, then I moved on with my life.
I really didn't give the book a second thought until it started appearing in my Facebook feed as all of my friends began announcing their intent to avoid the book like the plague. That's their prerogative. (Although, I have to wonder how many people picked up the book simple because it had become the focus of Christian dispute).
What really makes me crazy, though, is how self-righteous and hypocritical some of these posts seem. For instance, I noticed one of my friends (who happens to be a pastor's wife), post an excerpt from a blog denouncing the book as if it were as dangerous as driving head on into a semi. (As a side note, the full article made some excellent and salient points as to why the book should be avoided, but taken out of context, the quote came across a bit harsh). But, even the posting of the quote or the harsh tone it took towards those who do choose to read the book, didn't bother me so much. Again, everyone has the right to his or her opinion.
Here's what is driving me crazy:
I happen to know that that person, in particular, has recently been spreading hateful gossip and telling lies about a mutual friend.
What?
So, let me get this straight...
It's choosing a fate worse than death if you pick up the pages of "Fifty Shades of Grey", but it's ok to go around gossiping and hating someone? The last time I read it, I'm pretty sure Jesus said that hating someone was equal to murder. How does that work out?
Someone posted a great picture on Facebook the other day. It was a church sign that said, "Stop judging people just because they sin differently than you". Very good point. We're all sinners, we just have different brands of sin. And, we have our favorite sins that "aren't so bad" as what someone else is up to. It's an interesting little game of valuation and judgment we play, as if we have the right.
It's such a fine line to walk, I know. Even now, by expressing disapproval (some may read: judgment) over what this person posted in comparison to how she lives, I am opening my self up for the same criticism. It's a tough spot. But, if you're going to throw opinions out to the wolves, you might want to make sure you leave your meat suit at home.
People might take us more seriously, as a Christian community, if we lived our lives with a little more authenticity. People might actually care about our opinions if they didn't come across as "holier than thou" or supremely self-righteous. More importantly, people might actually come to ask questions about the Christ we serve if we learned to love like Him a little more. I'm pretty sure He's the one who refused to cast the first stone.
And, around the time all of these posts started appearing, another friend quoted C.S. Lewis beautifully when he said:
"One of the marks of a certain type of bad man is that he cannot give up a thing himself without wanting everyone else to give it up. That is not the Christian way. An individual Christian may see fit to give up all sorts of things for special reasons - marriage, or meat, or beer, or the cinema; but the moment he starts saying the things are bad in themselves, or looking down his nose at other people who do use them, he has taken the wrong turning".
Now, if someone I loved asked me if I thought they should read the book, I would tell them the reasons why I choose to keep it's contents out of my mind. I would tell them of the damage I think it would bring to my thought life and my relationships. But, in doing so, I hope I would be honest enough to say that there are other things in my life, my favorite sins, that I'm working on weeding out too. I'm not perfect. I'm nowhere close. But, I want to learn to love people well and show them that Jesus really didn't come to the world to judge it, but to save and heal her people.
So, I don't know what your opinion of "Fifty Shades of Grey" might be, but please, consider your own darkness before shining light on someone else's.
